Not Knowing Where to Start: Overcoming Overwhelm to Begin Emotion Coaching
“Don’t yell!” “Sit up!” “What are you talking about?” “Why are you acting so whiny?” “Can you please just get ready?!”
Have you ever heard yourself say something like this on repeat and then instantly regretted it? Have you ever thought:
“I want to do this differently… but I don’t even know where to begin”?
You’re not alone.
When I first came across the idea of emotion coaching, I had one of those lightbulb moments. I knew this was how I wanted to parent. But I didn’t know exactly how to start.
Taking that first step is often the hardest part. You want to stop yelling. You want to stay calm. You want to help your child through their big feelings with confidence—but in the moment, frustration takes over. And then you’re left with guilt, making yourself that same promise: Next time, I’ll do better.
And then… boom. Another tough moment. Another loop of frustration.
I get it. Habits are hard to break. But it is possible. You can stop yelling and show up more intentionally—and I want to help you believe that.
Why Emotion Coaching Feels So Overwhelming
We’ve all seen the terms: gentle parenting, positive parenting, peaceful parenting, emotion coaching…
You might have a vague idea of what they mean, but when you start Googling, it’s easy to fall down a rabbit hole.
You open one tab. Then another. Before you know it, you’re flooded with information and feeling even more confused than when you started.
So instead of taking action, we close the tabs and walk away.
The problem isn’t that you don’t want to try. It’s that you don’t know where to start, and it all feels too hard.
But here’s the thing:
You don’t need to overhaul your entire parenting style overnight. You just need one small step.
Just one.
So Where Do You Start?
Let’s keep this simple. Here are 4 practical steps you can take today—no overhauls, no guilt, just gentle shifts:
1. Let’s Learn the Basics
Emotion coaching is simply about recognising, naming, and empathising with your child’s emotions.
Try this:
“I can see that made you feel really sad when your Lego tower fell down.”
That’s it. Recognition, empathy, connection.
2. Start with Something Small
Choose one moment each day where you pause and name a feeling:
“Did that make you feel frustrated?”
“How did that make you feel?”
You’ll phrase it differently depending on your child’s age—but the goal is the same: connection through understanding.
3. Focus on Connection, Not Perfection
This isn’t about getting it “right.” It’s about showing up.
Small moments of connection—5 minutes at bedtime, cuddles after daycare drop-off, looking into your child’s eyes when they speak—these are what matter. Not the toys. Just you, being present.
4. Create a Tiny Plan
Pick one small goal for the week.
➡ Validate one emotion each day
➡ Spend 5 minutes of one-on-one time
➡ Pause before reacting
Now write it down. Stick it on your fridge. Set a reminder. Make it visible—because small shifts add up.
You Don’t Need to Be an Expert
It’s okay to feel awkward at first. This is a new skill—one that you can learn.
Start small. One moment. One emotion. One connection.
You don’t have to be perfect. Just present.
You’re doing enough.
You are enough.
And you can do this—one step at a time.
Let’s Take That First Step Together
🎯 This month’s challenge:
Pick one tiny goal—something like “validate one emotion per day” or “connect for 5 minutes”—and write it down. Want to go one step further? Share it for accountability. Send me an email, I personally read every one!
📥 Want support as you go?
Download my FREE Self-Regulation Guide and get weekly encouragement straight to your inbox. It's packed with practical tips to help you stay calm in the chaos—and it’s made for mums just like you.
👉 Click here to grab your free guide.
And I’ve got you.
In gratitude,
Meg x
